Sink or Swim

by Mike Margolies | Sep 28, 2015 | mental toughness, mental training

Do we throw people into the deep end to teach them to be mentally tough?

Sink or swim, throwing athletes into the deep end

Once upon a time we used to teach kids to swim by taking them to the end of a pier and throwing them in the water. Some of them figured out how to swim, some survive poorly but could function when thrown in again, and some just sank to the bottom and drowned. Mental toughness is like this. It’s sink or swim.

It seems that in sports today we do the same thing. We throw people into high pressure sports situations without teaching them mental toughness. We allow the same thing to happen. Those with grit make it to the top usually just based on athleticism. They get the experience to learn how to deal with pressure. They learn how to focus and they continued feedback that builds their confidence. What of the late developers then? They don’t get the experiences and if they aren’t real motivated at the time to overcome the effects of riding the pine (sitting on the bench) so they fail to develop the mental skills that others are developing through experiences. And it’s not just the late developers. Often times gifted athletes do not develop the right set of skills either, but because of their athleticism and success on the field they get to play. The problem hits them usually in transition to the next level. This can be JV to Varsity, high school to college and even college to the pro’s. I see it all of the time. It’s what keeps us busy as mental trainers®.

What if we change the model? What if we start teaching people to be mentally tough through mental skills training? What if teachers were trained in elementary school to help kids with mental skills? What if they we paid attention to how kids were developing their emotional intelligence? Let’s start programs for kids early on in middle school and high school teaching mental skills. Oh I know teachers do some things, but they are usually one shot experiences.

Today we no longer throw kids into the deep end. We start them out in the shallows where they can develop their swimming skills without fear. Don’t we owe it to people today to teach them mental toughness skills before they need them to survive? I see athletes every day who come in with what they consider issues. They can’t handle pressure or they lack confidence. When I ask them have they ever learned to relax they say sure I watch TV or listen to music. Myself I don’t find hip hop all that relaxing, but then I listen to AC/DC. OK well maybe over time I’ve added relaxing jazz to the mix to relax.

It’s up to us to change the way we bring athletes up. Those of us who are in the field or sport psychology, those who are teachers and coaches. Let’s stop throwing people into the deep end to see if they can sink or swim. Start out in the shallow end and help more people become successful in sports and life.

Learning to swim in the shallow end of the pool

Digital vs Analog thinking: an issue for perfectionist

by Mike Margolies | Sep 4, 2014 | mental training, perfectionism, Soccer

Digital vs Analog thinking: an issue for perfectionist in sport and business

I am working with a number of perfectionist clients at the moment. All have different reasons for how they came to believe they needed to be this way. as you may know if you have read me over time I deal mostly in solutions rather than in causes. Yes understanding your cause with regard to perfectionism is helpful, it also takes a long time to understand. So I prefer to help people with solutions instead and this is where the idea of Digital vs Analog thinking: an issue for perfectionist in sport and business comes to play.

We live in a digital age. The age of computers. Computer language is build on 00011100 coding. Ones and zeros, on verses off. Much like a light switch we are either perfect or we are un-perfect and if un-perfect it that it means something is unacceptable, then we are in a world of hurt. This digital thinking leads to anxiety, loss of confidence and frequently a dismantling of the individual self concept of themselves. This of course leads them down the path were they become even more perfectionistic and at some point either give up or continue in the whirlpool of self incrimination.

I’ve written other posts here on how this cycle is triggered often by shame, but for now I want to focus on helping you change the cycle one step at a time. I want you to think analog. For some of you this can be hard as so much of our world is no digital.

I’d like you to think of change as a radio dial instead of a light switch. Change ne am fm radio ed not be on or off. Certainly athletic improvement is not on / off but gradual, and that is exactly how you need to think. This is analog thinking. Recognizing that improvement comes in stages and that being perfect may be the ultimate result, but accepting gradual improvement and momentary failure is simply part of the process. it’s like finding the right station on the radio dial. You start at one end of the spectrum and move in the direction of something you want. It could be a different station or it could be volume control. It is most definitely not just turning on the radio and expecting it to play the music you want at the right volume.

This is in fact what the entire journey is about. It is the pursuit of excellence that we are after. Mental Game training is all about preparing for your best performance. We know that when you are Calm, Confident, Motivated, Focused and Play Carefree that you are as close to playing your own perfect game. But if your focus is on just flipping a switch mentally Its harder to get there.

I see perfectionism as a terrible waste of energy. It is often brought on from feelings of shame. shame is a tool that others in our past used to control us. It has no place in your head. We can work on that again at a later date, but for now, if you would, think analog and your progress will be enhanced and you’ll enjoy the journey much more.

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Digital vs Analog thinking: an issue for perfectionist in sport and business

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RIP Robin Williams

by Mike Margolies | Aug 13, 2014 | Anxiety, Einstein, Fear, mental illness, mental training, sport psychology

RIP Robin Williams

It’s been a hard few days for me. A lot goes on in life. Client needs, family needs and of course business needs, so the news that Robin Williams had taken his own life hit me hard. I am not one to follow celebrity. I rarely watch the news. I am too involved in the present. Too involved with Shifting the Paradigm of Sport Psychology & Mental Training to something that everyone will see as important and use to watch what goes on outside my little window of life. I work with people who are normal to exceptional. I understand genius on the field and off, it has been my life work. How to bring people to the next level. So I look for it in others, not just in sports, not just in business, but where it exists. So I have watched the genius who was Robin Williams intently. RIP Robin Williams.

I’m old enough to have watched Mork from Ork. To have seen him play-off with Jonathan Winters. To have seen him in roles like Popeye and wondered how things would go from there. Good Morning Vietnam was eye opening. Yes there was comedy, the riffs as he was playing the DJ role, but there was much more there, wasn’t there? He could act. He was no longer Mork. Not the stand-up comic, but an actor. Eye opening. RIP Robin Williams.

Then came roles like Dead Poets Society and Good Will Hunting and the depth of his abilities grew more. He moved me in ways I couldn’t understand at the time. From comic to Soldier DJ to Teacher and to Psychologist (naturally this one hits home) he was remarkable. His family movies came out when I was raising my sons. Their first thoughts of him were from Aladdin and Jumanji. He touched all of the buttons. He played some disturbing roles as well like pervert killers. He played every man and he played villains and comics. There are great actors and he was one. RIP Robin Williams.

There was the other side of him as well. Well documented by the media. He talked about it himself. Battles with drugs, with alcohol, depression. When I have looked at genius and tried to understand it, I am always in awe. It can be the genius of a Tiger Woods, Steve Jobs, Ernest Hemingway or Albert Einstein, it doesn’t matter what their field happens to be. The apparent effortlessness of mind and body. It is what I try to teach after all to those I work with. Not with all geniuses of course, but a disturbing number have suffered from mental illness ( Don’t start, I am not implying anything with woods or the others) as did Williams. RIP Robin Williams.

Here is one thing I know and mental illness is not something I work with, but have a bit of insight with. It has to be worse when you are a genius. When you are aware of every thought, every feeling. When you measure yourself not against other normal people but against the greats. Can you see how hard it is when you are depressed and you know you are in control, that you are the smartest person in the room and you can’t pull yourself out. The highs and lows of Robin Williams life are of what dreams may come. It is hard to go quietly into the night. It is difficult to watch yourself be chased by demons and not be able to remove yourself from the path. I wish to all that is holy that Robin Williams had found another way. RIP Robin Williams.

He was for me not just another actor or comedian. He was genius. He was what I want others to find within themselves. What I want to find within myself. To know you are at another level. This is where greatness comes from. It is a terrible thing to be so smart, to be so aware that you see all and to see the importance of life slipping away from you. I wish to hell he’d have found another way for all of us. To have found a funny way to say good bye instead of what I know he believed as the only way out of the pain. Robin Williams died this week. I will not criticize his way out. I will honor him by remembering his roles and what he gave me in laughter and experience. RIP Robin Williams.

Those who condemn his actions as a selfish act need to walk in his shoes. It would be different I think for me if he was the 20 something Mork who had taken his own life. Then it was the waste of what might have been. He was a few years older than me. He had fought these feelings most of his life. The things that made it better (Drugs and Alcohol) really made life worse. Were there other ways out. Of course there were. There are always options. But sometimes people get tired of the good fight. I am sorry he is gone. I will miss what might still have been. Go not silently into the good night, my friend. RIP Robin Williams. Nanu Nanu!

Build your company using the athlete within you

by Mike Margolies | Jul 26, 2014 | Leadership, mental training, sport psychology, success, Team Building

Build your company using the athlete within you

I get this question a lot during presentations to companies or associations, so I thought I would dedicate some time to it. I get asked or told, depending on the person asking the question. Why sport psychology and what does it have to do with business? Now generally I answer with a series of metaphors like making a big sale is hitting one out of the park or you know that question is a real curve ball. Mostly people get that our business language and sports language often dovetail. That’s when we can focus on how to build your company using the athlete within you

Sometimes I talk to them about working with their customers especially after a big NFL or college game. What used to be talk around the water cooler now takes place there, on Facebook and any place people communicate with each other.

After I have done this we proceed to talk about the Mental Game and how it will help them. Right now however I want to go a different route, a more direct route if you will. If you don’t understand why sport psychology works for you in your business world, please ask this of yourself. Why wouldn’t you want to be an athlete? Train like an athlete and succeed like an elite athlete? You see, elite athletes are your best example of who you want to be like.

Let’s try this for logic. If you looked at your job as if it were a sport, what would change? Certainly it would be more fun. You would want to win the Super Bowl or World Series every year. You would prepare for everything with passion (The Fury). You would prepare for each meeting and there would be no question that you would strive to be the best.

Work ethic would be great. You would train for success. Mental preparation and even physical preparation would be critical to your success. Right now I am doing some work with a training company, reviewing their business mental toughness program. I review the online test answers their students are giving. I am somewhat shocked how many of their employees see this course work as meaningless because all they want to do is sell like they have been doing for years. They don’t want to prepare, they don’t want to learn anything new. An athlete would be shocked by their attitude.

Great athletes are always in the game. They are focused and don’t get distracted. The best of them handle stress and even use competition to bring out the best in themselves. They also practice a lot. They practice everything they do that occurs in a game or might transpire in a game. How about you? Do you prepare for your presentation like a champion? How about sales calls or negotiations? Do you rehearse until it is perfect or just good enough and then wing it? Athletes are the best prepared individuals I know.
I’ll give you just one more important factor in why I focus on the mental game in business. Athletes make great team mates. Great teams are made up with great athletes. So in building your team, in creating an atmosphere for success within your company and maybe even more importantly leading the team like a great coach, wouldn’t you want everyone to at least have certain attributes of an elite athlete? Building your team with the mentality of a great coach with people who have the drive for success of elite performers will produce tremendous results for you and your business. Be the coach and provide the leadership to train your athletes, so that they have the mental game for success. Of course if you would like some help, you know where to find me.

Win the mental game

by Mike Margolies | Jul 11, 2014 | mental training, Mike Margolies, Motivation, sport psychology

Win the Mental Game (previously published in WAC Magazine)

How to prepare your mind for competition and success

When it comes to getting ready for competition, your mental preparation means more than you might realize. I often call this the “game within the game.” If you have been a competitive athlete at all in your life, you can probably recall a time when your mental state caused you to perform better or worse. What you might not realize, however, is that you can achieve peak performance more consistently through mental preparation.
As a sport psychology consultant and mental trainer, I often ask athletes to consider the best and the worst games they ever played. After they’ve done this, I ask them what they think the differences were between the two. Was the other team flat-out better, more fit, or coached by a genius? Almost always, the answer is none of those things. So to win the mental game, training makes a difference.

Instead, people often look internally. Talking about their worst performances, they point to anxiety, fear, or a lack of focus. The words differ, but the meaning is essentially the same: It was a “mental thing.” My next question is this: How much time do you spend practicing the mental game? Whether we’re talking about sports or business or personal affairs, if your answer to this question is “no time at all,” then it’s time to rethink your approach.

FIVE TENETS
The game within the game is the mental contest we play as we prepare for competition, whatever form it may take. It’s about what we tell ourselves before, during and after competition. It involves managing stress, setting goals, and visualizing success. How we play this mental game determines how we perform when it counts.

These are the five tenets:
1. Calmness
2. Confidence
3. Carefree approach
4. Motivation
5. Focus
Although each of these carries its own importance, they are also interrelated. Improving one area can lead to improvement in the other areas. Here’s a closer look at each.
Calmness: If you aren’t relaxed while playing or performing or working, you’ll more easily lose the feel for what you’re doing. Although learning to relax may seem simple, it’s actually a skill that must be practiced. Before you go to work tomorrow, try sitting on your couch for three minutes. Breathe slowly and just relax. The next time your stress level picks up on the job or during competition, take a deep breath and talk yourself down from the ledge. Refuse to get stressed out. It does no good.
Confidence: If you don’t feel confident that you can handle a competitive situation, you’re setting yourself up to fail. When you don’t believe in yourself, how is anyone else supposed to believe in you? Whatever it is you’re trying to do, tell yourself you can and believe it when you say it. Picture the success you are about to achieve.
Carefree approach: This is all about staying loose and knowing that no matter what happens, you’ll come out better for it. When the pressure mounts, refuse to let yourself get tight. It’s also important to make sure you don’t let worries from other parts of your life affect the task at hand. Stay mentally relaxed regardless of what you face. This goes hand in hand with staying calm.
Motivation: If you don’t have motivation, you don’t have much. Think about the things success will bring you. If you win the game, what will that mean? If you nail that presentation, what effect might it have on your career? Find your motivation and think about it often.
Focus: People often remind athletes of the importance of concentration. But what does that mean? Quite simply, it means focusing on the task at hand, avoiding distractions, and remaining fixated on what must be done. When players are off their game, it’s often because they’re thinking about something else. You can’t just go through the motions. By staying in the moment and avoiding mental interference, you can keep your mind where it needs to be.

STRENGTH FROM WITHIN
We all deal with stress. Life isn’t easy for competitive athletes, surgeons, lawyers, investment bankers, writers, or anyone else who’s trying to achieve great things. But it sure is fun. Remember that when you’re faced with long odds and the prospect of
failure. Enjoy the ride and know that you are doing exactly what it is you’re supposed to be doing.
Live for exhilaration and learn to deal with pressure. It makes you special and it sets you above the competition. You didn’t get where you are in life without putting in the work. And you won’t continue moving up by quitting or giving in when things get tough.
Instead, look within for strength, envision your success, and practice your mental preparation. Professional athletes typically spend 20 years perfecting their game on the way to reaching the highest level of their sport. By committing yourself to your own mental game and practicing often, you too can achieve greatness.

Asking Important Questions

by Mike Margolies | Jun 9, 2014 | Competition, concentration, focus, mental training, relaxation, sport psychologist

Asking Important Questions

Every decade or so I feel the need to clean out a file drawer, and this morning I did. What caught my eye was the first published magazine column I think I every wrote. It was for a monthly tennis magazine called “Tennis Talk” in Southern California. The copy I found was untitled so I’ve dubbed it “Asking Important Questions”. I found a few others and I will post them later.

From Tennis Talk Magazine June 1980

For sometime now I have been asking questions of athletes i meet at various competitions. The major question I ask is “What do you do get ready for competition?” In a recent meeting with a group of junior players this was their reply:

X number of hours on court practicing serve, ground strokes, etc.
X number of hours in competition
X number of hours running, stretching and weight training to get in shape

This appears to be a good, solid program I said, but aren’t you forgetting something, I asked. They all answered pretty much the same. “We think we are doing what needs to be done.” I then asked what they do for the mental part of the game. At first I got blank stares. “One player said he sometimes tries to psych himself up or psych the other player out, is that what I meant?” I then asked how important was the mental side and they all agreed it was the most important, but that it was what it was.

As a Sport Psychology Consultant, I have run into this set of circumstances constantly. It seems ridiculous to me that athletes neglect the most important part of their game. [though of course I did as well when I was a player] While tennis players spend hours getting in physical shape and improving their strokes, they will not spend an hour and a half a week to improve their mental conditioning.

Reports from the Soviet Union (remember this was written in 1980) have stated that some world-class athletes are spending as much as 75% of their time on mental conditioning. Why? Because it can have a tremendous effect on you game. You can increase your potential by working on some very basic concepts. These Include:

Relaxation – Knowing how to relax your body
Attentional Focus – Knowing how to concentrate
Self-Confidence – To see yourself with a positive self-image
Avoidance of CHOKE – How to effectively deal with stress

Try working on these areas I urged them. Know that Awareness is the first step in learning how to relax. Learning the skills will help you play at a higher level.

One question they asked right away was what did I mean by attentional focus? Attentional focus is the art of concentration. More precisely, it is the ability to focus your attention from one thing to the next as quickly as possible. In tennis this is the ability to go from knowing where your opponent is to seeing the rotation of the ball to thinking what to do next. If you master this art, you improve your game.

There are many exercises you can use to improve your attentional focus. Here’s one that is fairly simple to do. Close your eyes and get an image / picture of your tennis game. Look at your opponent, then see the ball.Learn to do this as quickly as possible, making sure to see the image as clearly and vividly as you can. Remember if you condition your mind as well as your body, your game will improve rapidly.

It’s hard for me to believe that I wrote that 34 years ago. At the time we called our company Inner Sports. I struggled at the time to write which is why it took another 31 years from when this column was written to write The Athlete within You which by the way for June the Kindle version is now on sale here at Amazon.

Stories

by Mike Margolies | Mar 5, 2014 | mental toughness, mental training, Testimonials

Stories from Clients, Coaches and Families

It has taken me a very long time to agree to use these stories or testimonials (I hate that word). I have been encouraged to do so by the parents, coaches and athletes I’ve worked with. These are just a few of the kind remarks I’ve kept locked away. Former clients and their parents tell me I’ve been backwards not telling these types of success stories. They say it makes it easier for people to find me. I just thought of it as self promotion. For years I told them just refer me to others and that is enough.

Well when I heard from Mauricio Bardales, former DI & DII NCAA Champion in the decathlon and he told me I was just being stupid, I guess I had to listen. So here are a few of the people who have touched my life over the years.There are more than 2000 more stories tucked away. Maybe one day I’ll bring some more of them out.

I’ve a wall in my office and I am now collecting pictures of current and former athletes. Perhaps I am just at that age where I need help remembering them better.

If you are a former athlete I’ve worked with and are willing to share your story, drop me an email and I’ll put your story here as well. Even better, give me a call and let’s catch up. -MM

Stories

I have had many requests not just for stories, but what athletes did in their mental training. While most every athlete I’ve worked with goes through an entire program certain skill sets were of particular emphasis or help. Here are a few selected stories from the last 30+ years. I tried to cover a few from each decade. Below the stories are a few of the many testimonials I felt I could put on here.

Male age 19. College Soccer. Coaches felt he struggled with mental toughness. Resiliency training, relaxation/ guided imagery, anchoring. Played in every game as a sophomore. Started all but one. 3^rd in assists (he’s a defender. Just signed his first professional MLS contract after his sophomore season.

Female age 16. Fencer (Saber). One time youth National Champion. She was not competing well (at her level) for a while. She continued to compete in national Level events, but was not doing as well as she had previously. We worked together for seven months. No particular focus other than on her mental game for the first time. Started seeing a change soon after we started, but a real change at about the 5 month mark. She started doing better in pool play, then advancing further in Elimination Rounds. At a recent World Cup Event she was Silver medalist only loosing to the worlds Number 1 ranked Junior Fencer. At the recent Junior Olympic Competition she won Gold in both her own age group (cadet) and in the Junior Category (20 & under).

Female age 17. High School / Club Gymnastics. She could not do her dismount from uneven bars. States were the next day. She had to move on to Regional’s and Nationals to be seen by Ivy League Coaches. Had State Championships the next day when I was called. I worked with her at the gym. CBT and hypnosis. She has been accepted as a gymnast to Brown.

Male age 17 year old male football player. Quarterback. Recovery from sever back injury and surgery. Confidence, pain management, flexibility, psych rehab. CBT, relaxation training, hypnosis. Surgery in late May. Player started out 2^nd string. 3^rd game in having missed all spring ball and most summer workout promoted to starter. He is now deciding on where he is going to accept an offer to play college football..

Female age 15. Club Soccer. Confidence and anxiety. She is a very small player. Good touch and tough. Told by everyone but her club coach that she was too small. Club coach is a soccer genius. She was moving on to a new club. Issues with High School coach. Confidence building, cognitive techniques and imagery rehearsal. Cut from high school team. Will be playing in college next year with a full scholarship.

Female 20-22 Female figure skater. Confidence, stress, coaches expectations and sponsor. Worked with skater for 1.5 years through the world championships. She had difficulty dealing with her abusive coach. Hypnosis, CBT. Going into world championships rated 5^th in the world. 3^rd in USA. Won Bronze medal in World Championships ahead of #2 US skater. Earned a trip to the Olympics.

Male age 22. Ranked in top 3 in the world in decathlon. US DI & DII Champion. Wanted to build mental skills for the Olympics. Small stature. Good at speed events. Weight events were an issue. Two of the primary events we were working on were discus and shot put. He improved by 27 and 18 percent respectively. Primarily used goals setting, relaxation and imagery rehearsal. Plan was to focus on more events as the year progressed. President of the United States cancelled US participation in Olympics and because of time restraints backed off mental training. I still have contact with him. Successful business person in CA. I do some occasional work with his daughter. It has been 34 years.

Male age 18. Club and HS Soccer player. Psychological rehabilitation following injury. Following a torn ACL parents brought client into talk with me. I know the family. Player decided SP not for him. 4 months later one month after returning to practice he blows out his ACL again. Same issues and added problem of playing premier level for his coach father. Father is a recognizable name in the coaching community. CBT, confidence building, goal setting, NLP and imagery. Player returned to play. Will play next season at a community college to get his grades up. Grades improved his senior season (one of his goals) to the point where he has drawn interest from DI & DII Universities.

Male age 18. High School Football. Headed to a military academy prep School. Mental Toughness. Worked on full mental training to prepare him for DI football. He ended up leaving prep school because of military lifestyle and academic goals. Has had an offer and has enrolled in an in-state DI university to play football.

Female age 21. College walk on golfer. Confidence, pre shot routine, self talk. Worked on mental skills training on and off the golf course. After performing well in tournaments she was offered a scholarship for her senior year.

Junior A Hockey Team Males ages 16-20. Mental toughness, goal setting, Last year they went 22-20-3 in their first year. I did some Skype work with them to prepare for playoffs. This year I spent a week with the team in training camp focusing on mental preparation and skills. Today they are 21-8-1 with about 15 games remaining. They have been competitive against the top teams in the country.

Female early 40’s. Show Jumper. Confidence, negative self talk, focus. High level show jumper looking to be competitive at the next level. Imagery, goal setting, concentration training, CBT, She has made large strides advancing two heights. In 8+ competitions this winter she has finished no less than 5^th out of 30+.

Male age 13-15 yrs old. Male Figure Skater. Confidence, anxiety, lacked fluidity. Great athlete. Mental skills training A-Z for 2 years. First encountered athlete as a research subject at the USOTC. Most helpful was imagery rehearsal with a focus on timing, absorption of music into performance, coping behavior. Eventual US Champion and World Champion.

Testimonials

It’s Mauricio. I’m glad I caught up to you. Man it’s been a long time. Things are good. I have a small business and nice family. I still think about how you helped me pursue my dreams towards the Olympics. The thing with the discus was so crazy. Be well my friend and let’s stay in touch.

-Mauricio, Business Owner, Orange, CA

Hey Mike,
I hope to have you come speak to the team again this Spring as we aim for two championships in row! Your help pre-race helped our team tremendously. Thanks again!
— Coach JD, Track & Field Coach, Colorado Springs, CO

Mike
Among the many things I’m grateful to my son’s coach for doing is putting us in touch with you. You’ve given Patrick a lot of the tools that he uses on a daily basis now, whether in baseball or life, and they are a tremendous asset. I’m sure he’ll appreciate more and more as he matures.
–Donna G, Programmer, Redmond, WA

Mike Margolies was effective in helping me to recognize how flaws in my thought processes play a role in feelings of anxiety about work and career. He taught me how breathing and meditation exercises can be effective tools for controlling anxiety and worry. These tools help me to stay in the “here-and-now” so I can better recognize what I have control over and what I do not. Mike is a positive and supportive counselor who I would recommend to others without hesitation.
–Dan M, Microsoft Engineer, Redmond, WA

Mike,
I’m sorry that we didn’t catch up with you at the game. In any event, I wanted to tell you that we’ve seen a transformation of James, both on and off the field. Other people close to the team, parents, coaches, and players, have also noted the change. You will probably receive some referrals, based on your work. It’s really everything we had hoped for. I just want to thank you for your work and hopefully we’ll have that opportunity to meet again in the playoffs!
-Jane M, Realtor, Bellevue, WA

Mike-
I know I’ve told you this a hundred time, and maybe you will let others know how I feel now, but think you again for helping me with my game. I would have been lost on the golf course these last few years if you had not been there for me. I know you hate the words magic, but that’s the way it seemed to me. You helped me discover what I was passionate about, why I played golf in the first place, and that helped me go from Nike Tour to the PGA tour. The rest of life has been great for me.
-Jon, PGA Golfer, Orlando, FL

Mike-
Our daughter was very comfortable working with you. You provided a warm, comfortable and relaxing environment that definitely helped speed through the rapport building part of the process. This obviously made us feel more comfortable also.
You went above and beyond in learning about her sport and the dynamics of her coach and her as an athlete and as a person. She did actually enjoy coming to meet with you . . . looked forward to it. The ideas/instructions and work was well tailored to her needs and issues as well as her age and maturity level.
As parents we appreciated the brief updates you gave us on a regular basis. The work was focused, yet broad enough and even more beneficial because it applied to her on other levels not just the sports issue.
Overall, it was a very good and beneficial experience. In addition to helping with the specific performance issue I think it was good for her to experience this kind of “professional” help and know that that are people like you in the world that can help by talking these things out and offering professional guidance.
-Sandy W, Financial Analyst, Seattle, WA

Dude,
You really do rock. OK did I really talk like that? I guess I did. You must have thought I was out there just because of that. I had a great career as you know. I’m not sure I’d have gotten there if not for your help. You taught me so many things I don’t know where to start. Learning to be accountable for my actions, self confidence and handling stress was key. Ten years in the NFL was so quick. You said it would be. My mind is still strong can say the same for the knee but that was the risk of course. Jess is doing great. I’m going to send Jenny out next year before she starts college soccer.
Be well,
-Tom J, Former NFL Player, San Diego, CO

Hey Mike,
Can’t thank you enough for helping with Anne’s breathing problem. Since she has worked with you she can play the whole soccer match. You taught her to handle her anxiety. She made varsity and is a very happy kid. Thanks again.
-Michele A, Financial Adviser, Sammamish, WA

Mike:
It was great seeing you on the course last week. Since the workshop I attended I’ve dropped my handicap 5 strokes. I’m now taking money from my buddies that for years took it from me. Such simple suggestions and my game is so much better now. The one thing you didn’t mention was how different I would feel no longer being the guy no one really wanted on their team at corporate events. I was going to get you together for a corporate outing and I thought why should I share the secret. Just kidding. I’m going to get it scheduled for May. I think we will have 15 to 20. Looking forward to having you on campus.
-Bill S, National Sales Manager, Los Angeles, CA

Mike,
I don’t know if you remember me. This is Marcus H. You might remember me more by my gang name XXXXXXXX. I just wanted to let you know that your time was well spent. You’re pulling me along, holding me accountable and teaching me not only to take care of my mental game but to love sport really did keep me in school. That was a few years ago of course. In June I get my Bachelors degree. Mom still tells the story when I ditched your session and you came into the hood looking for me. I just want you to know that if you hadn’t come to get me that day, I don’t think I would be walking in June. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
-Marcus H, Electrical Engineer, Los Angeles, CA

Mike,
This is Coach Bobby Sxxx . Your class on the Psychology of Coaching that you did here years ago not only helped me, but our community. I talk with Jack W every week. He was the basketball coach in the group. We both use what we learned in the course and if nothing else the experience for our young people seems so much better.
-Bobby S, Retired High School Coach, Worland, WY

Mike,
Running into you last week was awesome. I haven’t seen you in maybe 10 years. I just wanted to tell you again how great it was to see you. You really helped me through the knee rehab so I could have a great senior year at UXX. I have great memories from college and senior year was best. It never would have happened if you weren’t there for me and taught me how to focus psychologically during the rehab process. I’m coaching HS football now as an assistant. I think I do a better job at it because of what I learned from you. It is very meaningful to me to work with kids. I make enough $, and helping kids is a different type of reward. God Bless and be well.
-Johnny K, High School Football Head Coach, Richmond, VA

Mike,
You were right of course, it was time to either go to work on a real career or dedicate myself to golf. You helped me through a tough time. I was kind of lost. Sometimes I think that I should have kept playing and then I look at my kids and know I made the right decision for me. I’m glad you were there to guide me.
-Jason A, Transit Manager, Fullerton, CA

Mike,
What can I say? I’m not sure when I was 15 I really appreciated what you were teaching me to do with the imagery and relaxation. I do now know that it really helped me get to where I wanted to go with skating. The folks say hi and thanks as well.
-Susie Y, Business Owner, Dallas, TX

Seahawk Super Bowl Victory and the Mental Game

by Mike Margolies | Feb 4, 2014 | Competition, Cooperation, Emotional Intelligence, mental toughness, mental training, Super Bowl, Team Building

Seahawk Super Bowl Victory and the Mental Game

These are the conversations I had with people on Facebook and Twitter. It made the game even more fun. Thought some would like to listen in regarding the Seahawk Super Bowl Victory and the Mental Game

It’s Super Bowl Sunday. Less than 5 hrs until kickoff. Seattle Seahawks vs Denver Broncos. My two favorite teams. I worked with the Broncos on their first visit to the Super Bowl. I have a lot of roots in Denver. This is the first time I’ve wanted a different team to win. So I ask the question. Will it come down to Xs & Os? Might I suggest that it is really about The Mental Game. Which team will be calm under pressure? Which team has the mental toughness to excel? Will Manning shake Sherman’s confidence? Will he even pass in that direction? These are the difference makers. You know, no matter what level of play, it’s always the mental game.
I did say it was all about the mental game.
I’m just about that Rainbow, boss. http://t.co/YHFP5Ij4PB” This is a Skittle thing. But it is one of the things that will be iconic about the game.
Congrats Seahawks and 12s. Great game tonight. Totally dominated. It really did show how when a team is mentally prepared the difference it makes. Seahawks preach the mental game. It’s part of their weekly focus Should be everyone’s. Go Hawks!
(From my FB Friend Steven) Mike, mental preparation before the game is so important, but what struck me tonight as I saw pictures ot the Denver players on the sideline in the 3rd & 4th quarters, was mental collapse. The point were a player decides his team is going to lose, & simply ceases to try to win. How does one prepare a team to fight to the finish?
(from my friend Karin) It was clear early on their faces, they were done.
(My comment back to Steven) I saw that as well. I think it has to do with conviction. A belief that it really isn’t over until it’s over. One of the key components of mental toughness is perseverance. Can you keep trying when the wheels fall off. Keep in mind that Manning set a completion record as did Thomas with receptions. But not everyone could when I look at Hawks I see team. Broncos have great individuals.
(Steven’s reply) Yes CONVICTION, but also individual PERSEVERANCE plus COMMITMENT to the team, which is why I so much like their mantra, “WHY NOT US?”
(my reply) Agree. It’s what I work with on all of my clients and teams. Same with business clients. Not everyone gets cooperative competition. But as we both know with conviction, commitment and perseverance most things are possible. Not to be left off is trust. Trusting coaches, teammates and staff. Doesn’t matter if it’s playing football, business, medicine or driving a car.
It has been interesting reading the media reports today on the game. Most, not all of the dislike of the Seahawks is over. Blame of course being thrown at Peyton Manning, which is OK as he can handle it. Better to be thrown at him. If it was thrown to a receiver it would either be dropped or they would fall down after the catch. The line of course couldn’t stop it. Peyton is the real deal. It was a game. A loss and butt kicking, but in the end just a game. His character never in doubt. Everyone should read Richard Sherman‘s account on how Manning sought him out to see how his injury was. Credit Manning and Sherman for recognizing that even as it is the game, their is still more to life. My son saw a report in NYC that the Seahawks bought the game. Now that’s one I would have never thought of. Preparation for next season according to Carroll has already begun. Victory definitely goes to those who are mentally prepared. Parade is on Wednesday. Take off a day or two and let’s start getting ready for next season. The one thing I can’t get enough of is Mental Preparation – BOSS. Go Hawks!
Until I moved to the Seattle area 15 years ago I was a big Bronco fan. I got my start in Sport Psychology in Denver. The first team I did any work for was the Broncos. But after a few years watching Mike Holmgren turn things around here, I started following both teams. When Pete Carroll arrived and I started watching him carefully, I read his book “Win Forever” and I went all in. The biggest post game story I heard was from Richard Sherman. Sherman wanted to acknowledge his respect for Manning. Manning came up to him to make sure he wasn’t hurt badly. After a crushing defeat when you can care about your antagonist, you are really something. This story came from Sherman himself. For those who think that this articulate young man via Compton and Stanford is a thug, think again. Years ago Manning walked off the field without shaking hands. He learned a lesson. So did Sherman. They will never approach things the same, but both are of high character. Manning has taught a lesson he perhaps never intended.
To everyone who cares to listen. This is what many of my posts during the Super Bowl were about. How the Mental Game effects outcomes. As you will see Richard Sherman talks about this being a chess match and not checkers. Checkers are who is faster, who is more physical. Chess is can you out think your opponent, can you play the entire board as one not as individuals. Are you prepared to the extent that you can play with confidence, calmness and conviction the entire game. http://dailym.ai/1jc023k The more we read, the more we learn about how these two teams prepared mentally for the game.
OK< I’m done with the Super Bowl talk. It’s been fun. A lot of interaction with people. Obviously, my addenda is to promote mental training. I really do feel that instead of the focusing on how physical or how fast the Seahawks were in the game, the focus is on how mentally prepared they were vs the Broncos. Add to this that Seattle has been working on Mental Training for at least the last two years weekly, is important. This team was built on the ideas of cooperation and competition. It shows the importance of emotional intelligence. It is the mental game. OK> I’m out.

Can we learn from the Seahawks?

by Mike Margolies | Jan 31, 2014 | mental toughness, mental training, Mike Margolies

Can we learn from the Seahawks?

Teams are preparing for the biggest game of the year, in arguably the biggest venue, the Big Apple- New York City. Most all the focus is on the Denver Broncos Payton Manning

and the historic passing offence vs the Seattle Seahawks Legion of Boom and the #1 ranked Defense. The game takes place on a huge stage. The focus is mostly on Offense and Defense, X’s and O’s, but might the real contest be in everyone’s head? Yes and how will the mental game play a role in the outcome?

One thing we have heard is that the Seattle Seahawks work with a Psychologist from Los Angeles. Many of the players including young quarterback Russell Wilson meet with him weekly. (http://abcnews.go.com/m/story?id=21614481) The idea that at the pinnacle of football (or any other sport) athletes openly meet with someone to help them with their mental game come into play in New York?

How mentally prepared is each team? To what degree will mental toughness effect these two great teams? These are the real questions.

Mental toughness training is telling and the Seahawks have been doing this now for two years. Is their rise to the top in the NFL due to X’s and O’s. Is it based on the draft and free agency? Is it the leadership from Pete Carroll and his Win Forever mentality? Absolutely! But it is this same mentality that brings in someone to help players with their mental training. This is perhaps a much overlooked area where athletes can make huge improvements in performance and it is not often that people can work with celebrity performance psychologist. Meditation is just a small part of the equation in learning to be emotionally intelligent on the field.

Mental Training Inc. provides worldwide mental training to athletes of all levels. In the Pacific Northwest Mike Margolies CMT® of MTI works with individuals, teams and corporations. You can contact me there or via The Mental Game.

“The thing is that today any athlete wanting to learn to be the best that they can be can work with someone and improve their mental toughness”.

So can we learn from the Seahawks? You can be prepared like Russell Wilson and the Seattle Seahawks. It is far more available than you would have thought. Turn that thought into real action and become mentally tough, calm and poised in whatever your sport. Performance is more than X’s and O’s. Find out why the best in the world work on their mental game with a qualified Sport Psychology Consultant / Certified Mental Trainer®.

Seahawk’s Derrick Coleman and the Mental Game

by Mike Margolies | Jan 11, 2014 | Football, mental training

Seahawk’s Derrick Coleman and the Mental Game

You may have notice I don’t often write about professional players. This commercial about the Seahawk’s Derrick Coleman I think fits in well though. Derrick Coleman is a Seattle Seahawk Fullback. He has also been deaf since the age of three. The video is a commercial by Duracell about Coleman. It’s about his determination and unwillingness to give up his pursuit of a dream. It is a very positive message to everyone on not to give up.

There are questions, unasked that comes to mind. Why was he so determined? Where did he find the strength from within to keep chasing his dreams. Was it the way he was raised? Was it something he learned early on from a teacher or coach? These of course are unanswered questions. My real thought is this. And it is the thought that has driven me most of my life. What if you are someone who didn’t have this kind of drive from birth or didn’t learn it early in life? Are there ways to learn this later? I believe the answer to that question is unequivocal. The answer is of course “YES”! Derrick Coleman is a young man who refused to be bent by the opinion of others in pursuit of his dream. he had the drive to continue in spite of what many would consider a disability. Don’t get me wrong. Not everyone can play in the NFL. You have to have talent. But more than talent you must have drive. As the commercial ends saying, Trust the Power Within! He understands the Mental Game.

Now for me this power is a learned skill. Just like any skill learned early in life, this is a skill anyone can learn at anytime. I’ve worked with people in their 70’s wanting to learn to swim and kids under 12. All they had to do is decide this is something I want. They may not know what mental skill they need yet, but we can figure that out. Over the years I’ve found that this is very something that can be learned. All you need do is ask.

Trust the Power Within. Chase your dream. I just saw on Facebook where one of my clients is headed to Europe to chase his dream. Another is in LA with the US Men’s National Team Camp. Two very different types of players, both chasing dreams like Derrick Coleman. I’d love to meet Mr Coleman some day and talk with him about these questions. It is always possible to pass the information forward to help others find their dreams. That is a big part of the Mental Game.

http://youtu.be/u2HD57z4F8E

Living in Seattle I would be remiss if I didn’t add something as an addendum. Today is the playoff game between the Seattle Seahawks and the New Orleans Saints. This past December 2nd, 2013 the Saints got their heads handed to them 34-7. Few believe in a playoff game the score will be the same. Seahawks are favored. As a fan, I want them to win.

I got a call yesterday from the local NBC Affiliate King 5. They want to interview me this afternoon should the Seahawks lose the game. I’m not expecting them to call. GO HAWKS!

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