How to Control Your Emotions by the Mindvalley Team
I have looked to add some guest posts to this blog. This post has been written by the Mindvalley Team. Mindvalley is one of the world’s fastest growing online publishing companies. Through a unique blend of conscious marketing, technology and a fun and quirky work culture, the Mindvalley team spreads enlightened ideas across the internet and beyond. This one is about how to control your emotions.
Please read and enjoy. This follows closely with many of the concepts I have posted on Emotional Intelligence.
Control Your Emotions
Controlling our emotions is essential to keeping ourselves calm and detached enough to make good decisions and do what we want or need to do. When we are constantly overrun by our emotional states, we lose our ability to think and act in an appropriate manner. Many people mistake their emotions for the reality of a situation, but emotions are really just intuitive cues that help us navigate our true needs and desires. A strong emotion indicates something we have either a strong desire for, or an aversion to. By reading these emotions we can better understand ourselves, but if we become our emotions, we miss out on a valuable opportunity to learn from our experiences.
Some emotions seem too powerful and overwhelming to control, but the fact is we are always in control. When an emotion arises or surprises us, we decide in that moment whether to run with it and talk to ourselves about it, or whether to bring into it and let it go. Emotions may arise in a reaction to something else, but they are fed with our thoughts. This means the moment we feel an emotion running away with us, we can stop, take a deep breath and stop our thoughts. When the mind stops, all that is left is the feeling, and it will run through us and then be gone.
We can also change our thoughts if we feel overwhelmed by an emotion or situation and can’t seem to let it go. A simple thought we can use is one of acceptance of ourselves, the others involved and the situation itself. This is simply done by saying something like, “I don’t like this, but I accept that it is this way, and I am ready to let go of my anger and fix it.” This is a statement that both let’s go of what is happening, and empowers us toward the solution. It is the perfect balance of accepting and owning what is happening.
We can also use simple breathing techniques to take us out of an emotion or out of thoughts that cause unhappy or unhealthy emotions. Counting the breath is one simple way to direct our attention toward something else. We can bring our focus to our breath and let the emotion do what it will. When we stay with our breathing, we no longer feed the anger, sadness, or fear that is overwhelming us. It can then pass through us as we feel it fully and let it go.
For times when we are incredibly upset, anxious, or physically, emotionally, and mentally worked up, we can use long, slow, deep breathing. Instead of counting the breath, we draw our attention to it and actively work to lengthen and deepen it. This means we close our eyes and slowly, deeply, consciously breath until we are calm again. Then we attempt to view or approach what is happening from a new angle. In this way we stay completely in control of our feelings and reactions.
The more we get ahold of how we are feeling and keep them from overrunning them, the easier this becomes. When our emotions are used to ruling the day and ruling us, they tend to take over in most situations. This is a problem, because emotions are not really meant to be the governing force of our lives, they are only meant to increase our experiences and to give us valuable clues in our decision making. Emotions are fickle, temporary, and often merely an initial reflex of our egos. While we can never discount emotion entirely, it is necessary to balance it with our reason, intuition, and higher minds.
Ego is a very reactionary, fearful, emotional part of our selves. Often, it uses emotions to take over and turn us inward and make us selfish or self-centered. If we let this happen, we will find ourselves constantly being worked into a state of unrest. This is our ego clinging to a self and holding onto to discontentment in order to keep us from being happy and getting what we want. It is a way we become limited, and give up our personal power. When we control our emotions, however, we make room for our truer, more powerful, positive selves to shine through.
Learn more stress relief techniques and easy techniques of relaxation
This is some text prior to the author information. You can change this text from the admin section of WP-Gravatar Mike Margolies: Sport Psychology Consultants ; TheMental-Game.com Mike Margolies is a Sport Psychology Consultant, Certified Mental Trainer® (CMT), Author, and Professional Speaker. When you want to be the best that you can be and the one thing you might be missing is the right mental game - what can you do? Well, athletes from all over the country have been seeking out Mike Margolies for over three decades to help them reach their potential. His clients include professional, elite, colligate and youth athletes in every sport. They have sought his counsel and unique teaching style to learn about the game within the game, or what mental training can do to help them become the athlete they want to be. He has trained professional and elite athletes and helped guide many to world championships and even the Super Bowl. Mike has trained more than 2000+ athletes. He has taught at four Universities and completed research at the United States Olympic Training Center. His new book is called The Athlete within You- A Mental Approach to Sports and Business. He currently works with individual athletes, teams and businesses around the world, both in person and via SKYPE. Mike is based out of the Pacific Northwest. Let him encourage you to play the game within the game. The Athlete within You is waiting to come out play. Learn the rules to the mental game to help realize your potential. Read more from this author