Tag Archive: athlete
Mar 17
Getting past shame
Mental Training to get past shame in sports
Clown Redemption (my name not his).
In sports it could be something as simple as these.
Mar 03
The Mental Game is here to Stay
The Mental Game
Since 1983 my practice has been called Sport Psychology Consultants. Not very creative, but back then it seemed to fit what I wanted to do.
In 2009 when I transitioned into the current century and built a website, my practice became, Sport Psychology Consultants @The Mental Game.com
For the last few weeks I have been posting about how mental training needs to be thought of as a necessity and not a luxury. I even wrote about how those of us who are applied sport psychology consultants are in fact part of the problem. I started talking about using mental trainer instead of sport psychology consultant.
Last week traveling with a friend we were discussing business and I had an epiphany. We were discussing my blog posts and it occurred to me that I was being hypocritical (well maybe not hypocritical, but perhaps stubborn). I was referring to an applied sport psychology consultant as a mental trainer, then how can I keep referring to my practice as Sport Psychology Consultants. Why not do business as The Mental Game?
So here I am making the paradigm shift. Back in the late 70′s I was considered a Sport Psychologist and my practice was Inner Sports. 1983 rolls around and it changes. I was a Sport Psychology Consultant doing business as Sport Psychology Consultants. Brilliant! Ha. So beginning this March I am a Mental Trainer and the practice is called The Mental Game. Website is being changed. Logo being worked on. Will it make a difference? Will this help bring about a change in the way people think about sport psychology? I hope so. I so desperately want athletes and coaches to understand that we who have studied sport psychology and utilize this science, applying it to educate athletes, coaches and others to discover something within themselves to achieve more want to be part of mainstream sports. We are no different than the other sport sciences which make up this marvelous thing we call sports. It has always been my contention that if you want the world to change, it has to start with you.
So here I am. Mike Margolies, an applied sport psychology something or other for 35 years changing the way he does business. Welcome to the Future!
Feb 08
Mental Training- The Final Frontier
The Final Frontier: Mental Training
I was looking through some old pictures and articles from over twenty-five years ago. I don’t have a lot of the old things due in part to a burst pipe in the basement, but I have a few things. I pulled out this old and not very well written article I did for some magazine. It was called ”The Final Frontier Mental Training”. I had written it because I thought sport psychology and mental training were finally becoming “NORMAL” for all athletes. I had been working with a number of athletes preparing them for everything from World Championships and High School. I was seeing 10-15 athletes a week. Life was starting to be good not only for the athletes as their success was almost always improved but for me as well. This was pre-internet days. Social media was word of mouth. Athletes and their coaches were starting to reach out. I assumed mental training was now finally in the mainstream. I used the Final Frontier because of Star Trek. I in fact went looking for the old article because of the new Star Trek movie release and it hit a nerve with me. The Final Frontier. My meaning then was two-fold. We were exploring how to get the most out of an athlete. New techniques and ways of teaching mental skills The second was we were being accepted in mainstream coaching. Sport Psychology Consultants were being hired in pro sports.
Cutting Edge
25 plus years ago I did believe I was on the cutting edge of sport psychology. I was one of those applied people. Working in the field with athletes rather than a researcher. My interests were in helping athletes run faster, jump higher etc. We were helping athletes at all levels. We were mainstream. Move ahead 25 years.
I’m still explaining what I do to athletes, parents, coaches and people I meet on the street. I was on the phone yesterday with an internet consultant from GoDaddy. He was helping me with a technical issue with my website. When he wondered what it was I did, I thought here’s a geek, a non sports guy. So I explained. Turned out he was a geek that played college DI basketball at a pretty big University. He had no idea about mental training. Never really used visualization or imagery. Had issues with being able to focus and relax. At 6’8″ he might have been able to continue to play. He decided he just wasn’t good enough so he gave up something he loved as a sophomore in college. He has not played ball in seven years. Not even for fun. Such a waste. maybe he will get a pair of shoes and wonder over to the gym now. I hope so.
Performance is mental
I’m fond of misquoting Yogi Berra the Hall of Fame Baseball player and coach. 80 percent of all performance is mental and the other 50 percent is physical. Then why are we still at the edge of the Final Frontier. Why are we not mainstream. I train a football player preparing for his Pro Day. His time to be seen by NFL scouts so he might be drafted. (He understood the importance of mental training and sought me out) He is working with a strength and conditioning coach. He is working with his position coach. He is getting nutritional advice. An he is working on his mental game. That alone makes him unusual. You see while everyone says it is the biggest part of performance, few actually practice what they admit to.
When I am speaking I often ask for a show of hands and ask “What was the reason for your poorest performances. Virtually everyone says the other team or opposition was better physically, technically and strategically says everyone, like NEVER!. It is always some form of I wasn’t mentally there. I couldn’t concentrate I was stressed out. It it so rare that I hear they were just a better team. Do you think that the San Francisco 49ers are saying that the Baltimore Ravens are a better team? (Now John Harbaugh is likely still blaming the refs) but the players will point to a mental let own somewhere. It is as I said the difference maker.
Still on the Edge
Yet here we are still on the edge of the Final Frontier. Pro teams, college teams all have full time strength and conditioning coaches. Some will have a part time Sport Psychology Consultant. An outsider not integrated with the team. Helpful, but not there yet. Individual athletes are the same. I had a conversation today with someone who wants mental training for his team and his own kids. I know he has the money, but a new pair of cleats or a technical camp is a higher priority.
Priorities
If mental training is your lowest priority then take it off your list. If you are going to fail then it is not because of anxiety, stress, focus, negative thoughts, motivation, fear, discipline, mental toughness, anger, emotions, self-confidence or even team cohesion. You just are not good enough. You are physically inferior to everyone you have ever lost a contest to. The player that beat you last week that you have never lost to before, just got better than you. You might as well either hit the gym or give up because there is little you can do. What’s that? Practicing harder seems to hurt your performance. You can’t seem to find the discipline to stay on track with your training. Don’t worry it is genetic. Nothing you can do about it.
The water in the pool is just fine
OK sarcasm rant is over. Yes I do think Mental Training is the Final Frontier. I know that mental training will help you perform at a higher level. It’s just a mater of are you going to do the work. You are out there working your butt off, lets exercise the mind as well. It will make a difference. Jump on in the waters fine.
Feb 05
Thoughts from the Darkness: Super Bowl 47
Thoughts from the Darkness of Super Bowl 47
Thoughts on what mental lessons did we learn from Super Bowl 47
I would be remiss if I if I didn’t follow last weeks post with some thoughts and observations from Super Bowl 47.
With all the hype one team came out ready to play. You are a team or individual athlete and you have two weeks to prepare for the biggest game of your career and you come out flat. Was it the distractions of the week or just that the other team was better prepared mentally. On paper both teams have great defenses and good offenses. Half time score was 21-6 at half. 11 second into the 2nd half the score was 28-6.
And then the lights went out. We can insert 49ers, gambling, CBS, etc. jokes here about who pulled the plug.
Needless to say a weird thing happened on the way to a beat down by the older brother to his younger sibling. The lights went out in Georgia (er the Super Dome) causing a 35 minute delay. The Ravens had all of the momentum. They were in cruse control. And then the darkness. All of a sudden things changed. The commentary started in about how this may have saved San Francisco. Now they have time to regroup. No team has comeback from more than a 10 point deficit, but now maybe this is a sign. Certainly the coaching staff for the 49ers are telling their players that they can use this to their advantage. This will be the shift in momentum they need. After all its 3rd down and 13 for a first down, but the Ravens won’t be able to stop them now. On the other side, while the Ravens are thinking they still have this game in the bag time is not on their side. They are an older team and it takes time to physically get going after an hour of sitting around. Half time is over twice as long and a normal game. So they cooled down, got ready again and cooled again. Tough for any athlete. They too likely started to wonder if this meant things were not to be.
The brothers who are always interesting to watch were an interesting study. If you asked me who would be the most irrational about something during the game I would have said it would be 49er head coach Jim. He is not known in the media as Mr Congeniality. He made up for it later, but I’ll save that. Brother John can have his moments, but is perceived differently. During the Darkness, as I will refer to it, the camera caught John going off on the referees and NFL official over something. He looked as if he were losing it. He had been told they could not use headsets because the 49ers side were down. The Ravens send in plays from the coaches box so that would put them at a disadvantage. They were going to take an extra 15 minutes to allow the coaches to come down. I think it was also the delay and could he get his team back where he needed them mentally and physically after the lay off.
San Francisco takes control
Just like the movie script that includes a conspiracy theory on who pulled the plug, San Francisco came out of the Darkness on Que and came back and took the lead. The Ravens responded showing that they had not died and pulled ahead. In the end it came down to a goal line stance with SF having the ball in the Red Zone. They needed a touchdown as time was running out. Baltimore dug in and held them figuratively and perhaps actually. A non call on a hold / passing interference on 4th and the trophy, sent Jim into a rage. Not sure he’s stopped complaining yet. The Ravens get the ball on downs. Three runs later and there is still time on the clock. Ravens have to punt or perhaps opt for a safety to take time off the clock and give them room to prevent a blocked kick. Most everyone knew it was what they would do. The interesting thing was that the offense became like the defense. The held and tacked the defense players allowing the punter to take more time off before taking the safety. Holding /tackling the other team was penalty. The refs made no call. Now in truth the it made no difference. It was an anomaly. I remember having the same thing happen to me coaching youth football 36 years ago. I’ve seen some people say it is not within the spirit of the game. That may be but it is within the rules. Call or don’t call the penalty. Either way it was the endgame.
End of an Era
Ray Lewis is retiring. He won’t be gone as I am sure he will be on TV forever. I’m not a big RL fan. He paid (sort of for his crime) but still makes questionable life choices. He’s made some good ones as well and I have friends in the Baltimore area that talk about how much he does for the community. I think that is great. Community starts at home as well and he needs I think take care of his kids and ex girlfriends too. But Ray and Ed (a real good dude) are gone. I’m happy for Baltimore and their fans. There are some good stories, inspiring stories as well. Former All Pro O.J. Brigance being around fighting ALS.
Mental aspects of the Darkness
Mental toughness is about being resilient, about persevering and about persistence.
The biggest things to look at I think are these. Be prepared for competition, mentally, emotionally and physically. (Ravens)
Be prepared for coping when things go terribly wrong like the Darkness (49ers)
Fight back when you lose momentum. (Ravens)
Don’t lose it emotionally (both coaches)
And finally be mentally strong enough to be gracious in both victory and defeat.
Jan 24
It’s an Extraordinary Life
It’s an Extraordinary Life
Carpe Diem – for an Extraordinary Life
I watched one of my favorite movies the other day, The Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams in the lead role. A teacher who inspired his students to think for themselves and live their lives to the fullest. Working with athletes on the mental game constantly reminds me how fortunate we are to play the games we do at such a high level with great passion. Often times we do forget to Seize the Day! This is about living an Extraordinary Life.
I’ve borrowed the title to this blog from a friend of mine. His name is Randall Broad. He is the author of a book called “It’s an Extraordinary Life“. You can find it on the link or via Amazon (the usual places). I bring up his book and the title because not only does it hit home with me, but with most of my clients. Some of the things he talks about in his book are these:
* why you should live everyday as if you have cancer
* the importance of learning from those who know
* the importance of not “Missing It”
* why you always need to pay yourself first
* that miracles really do happen
* adversity is just another step to your goals
* and finally, how to make each day yet another in an Extraordinary Life
This post was going to be about Lance Armstrong. I’ve been working on that since I heard Armstrong was going to be on Oprah. I will get to that post in good time. I thought it more important to talk in part about my friend Randy. His book is about his successful battle with lung cancer. He and I have had a few words back and forth about Mr. Armstrong. I will say I believed he was cheating since early in 2000, but I’ll save that for my Lance Armstrong post. Randy as with most cancer survivors were huge supporters of Livestrong and Lance. Hence our conversations.
What really got me thinking was something Armstrong said in his interview. About how the cancer brought out a ruthlessness in his personality to fight for his life. That brought me back to Randy’s book. Randy took a slightly different approach which brought him to the same end. He reflected on what an Extraordinary Life he had led and how we should do that each and every day.
This has brought me to a realization. Should we wait to have a major catastrophic event in our lives to realize we should live each day an an extraordinary way or should we dedicate ourselves to that ideal right from today. I have seen athletes do incredible things over the course of my career. I’ve met people all over who live their days in extraordinary ways. But most of the people I meet live day to day. They will have an extraordinary day on occasion but they don’t live their life that way. Those are exceptional days. So I ask myself, can we live the Extraordinary Life on a daily basis? I’ve been training people to that on the field of sports and business for over three decades, but it wasn’t until now that I realized how important it is to acknowledge peak performance, being in the zone or having an Extraordinary Life every single day could make such a huge difference. Rather than preparing for a single moment in time, could we not stretch those moments throughout our lives? What we imagine we become. To see our lives as extraordinary is stepping through a gate to find you are who you want to be.
I am not one for waxing poetic (actually I do have a book of poetry somewhere on my computer) rather my focus has been on training people, mostly athletes, to use their mind to perform in practice and competition to the highest level. Yes there has always been what I would term carryover into their regular lives. Better grades, better social lives etc.
My new mission is to emphasize that athletes realize that if they live the Extraordinary Life daily, when all is said and done they will realize that they spend more time in the zone than out. That they will naturally compete and live their life able to handle stress and adversity. I think it starts with understanding your why. Once you understand your why if you decide that you can live an Extraordinary Life on a daily basis things become clearer and in fact easier. Yes there will always be hard work and training. Extraordinary people just find it easier because they recognize that living their life full-out is what matters.
Some of this also comes from the fact that I caught a cold. No I am not comparing that to Randy’s fight with Lung Cancer. I caught the cold December 28th I think. By New Years Eve I had no voice. I’ve not been able to really talk until this week. My voice is perhaps 75% today. For someone who makes their living talking to clients and public speaking this was a shock. For most of the month I could be heard in a soft whisper. That is when the idea of Living an Extraordinary Life took hold. Whispering to clients made me realize that we take many things for granted. I’ve lived in many ways and extraordinary life. I’ve worked with top competitors and I think helped make the difference in many people lives, but to say I have had an Extraordinary Life on a daily basis would be untrue.
So here is to Living the Extraordinary Life! It’s the only one we have, wouldn’t it things holding you back. Be EXTRAORDINARY in your sport and life be better if every day were Extraordinary? Mental skills can help you deal with the things holding you back. Be EXTRAORDINARY in your sport and life!
Carpe Diem!
Jul 12
Seven Day Challenge: Remembering the Coin
Seven Day Challenge: Remembering the Coin
About a week ago I posted an exercise Remember the Coin Part 1.
Remembering the Coin. It was really a seven-day challenge. I gave the instructions, but no explanation of what the exercise was about. I set it up to entice athletes to want to do the exercise without an explanation of what the lesson was about. I left that part out for a couple of reason.
1) If you know what it is about you are likely to say that is not an issue for me and decide not to give it a go.
2) Another reason is I wanted to show how perhaps language might impact those that gave it a try.
3) And the third reason is that as with many good mental training exercises, I did not want to influence people into thinking that it was one simple construct, but perhaps it had multiple meanings.
So here is part of the reason for the exercise. If you found other significance’s, I would love for you to post them here. At the end of the explanation I’ve added another challenge for those of you that found this too easy. That would be the 10% that passed, not the other 10% that lied or the 80% that failed.
Apr 24
Game within the Game – Slideshow
The Game within the Game slideshow
I thought I would post one of my PowerPoint presentations on the game within the game. It is how I often introduce sport psychology and mental training to parent groups. It is performance oriented and takes a more research or academic based approach to mental training. Come view the slide show and see many of the topics covered in mental training and how it can be a benefit to athlete who decide to travel this road. Mental training is an important aspect of the athletic experience.
Apr 02
I call it bragging rights!
Starting exercise: bragging rights.
As I have posted here before my sport psychology program is a mixture of cognitive behavioral therapy, imagery rehearsal, relaxation, hypnosis and other tools designed for self actualization.
When a client comes to my office, one of the first things they learn is that we start to focus on the positive things that happen in their lives. I borrowed the term “Bragging Rights” from a friend and psychotherapist by the name of Rick Wyckoff. I say borrowed, but of course I mean stole, as I didn’t ask his permission. But Rick is always generous, so I doubt that he will mind. I have of course been using the exercise for a couple of decades or more, but the name is remarkable to me.
We spend so much time telling people they shouldn’t brag. That bragging is somehow rude or socially unacceptable. I wish we spent as much time teaching people that being negative so much was also in this category. It is much easier for most people to talk about what a bad day they are having then to talk about how great their life is. And that is in fact where a lot of the issues start. Not only are we reluctant to say good things about our lies, but we focus on what is wrong.
If this were just in our interactions with the people we come in contact with, then that would be one thing. The problem is that it is what we say to ourselves that follows this same path and continually knocks us down. We are so willing to criticize ourselves and neglect what is good in our lives. I had a client last year that I noticed was rather negative in her language. I asked her about this. She of course said she is the most positive athlete I would meet. I asked her to do this little exercise. If you catch yourself saying something negative, then write it down. At the very least make tally marks. Five days later she walked somewhat sheepishly into my office. I said what’s up and she pulled out ten pages of notes on all of the negative things she said about herself. It is sometimes a tough enough world as it is without our being our own worst enemies.
Back to bragging rights. When an athlete visits with me the first thing I tell them it is time to do an exercise called bragging rights. They need to tell me only the good things that happened during the time between visits. For many this is difficult. Not only are they negative, but they were taught it’s not polite to brag. Eventually we get there and after a while they become used to it. We examine the good things that are going on in their lives, before we ever put the magnifying glass to any issues they are dealing with at the time. Not only is this a great icebreaker, but it is very helpful for the athlete to measure where they stand.
Mar 07
Are You Weak if You Use a Sports Psychologist / Mental Trainer?
Keep in mind that I have been working as a sport psychology consultant for three decades now. I’ve seen a lot of changes, but not enough. In Europe and even in Canada I know sports psychology consultants that never even hear these questions. So why here? If you get my book you will note that I trained under someone many consider the modern father of sports psychology n North America, Bruce Olgilvie. He started working with athletes in 1966. And we still ask the question 46 years later. The Russians brought Sports Psychologists with them in the 1950′s. Why is it in North America, particularly in the US, we have made such slow progress. This is in answer to feedback I got from my post “Is Mental Training Right for You”
Many athletes have a fear that other athletes or teammates will see them as weak if they work with a sports psychologist. Are you or any of your athletes hesitant about mental training? I talked with a football player at a DI University that has a sport psychologist and he said very few would utilize their services and it was free. Myths about sports psychology can prevent athletes from developing a strong mental game.
Mar 01
Is Mental Training Right for You and your Team?
Ask Questions-
I was talking with a potential client’s mother today. She wanted to see if I was the right fit for helping her kid. We discussed all of my services, but it came down to some basic questions. One was that the concern he would think there was something wrong with because of the term “Psychology” and the other was how does sport psychology and mental training fit their needs. The second part was easy, and it has been the nature and intent of the posts I have been making. The first question gets more to the roots that 99% of Sports Psychology and Mental training is for healthy athletes that want to increase or accelerate their performance. Yes, we deal with things like fear, self confidence and anxiety, but it is with the intent to increase performance.
So as you read through the rest of this post, I would like you to answer two questions for yourself and me. Please feel free to leave comments so we can have a conversation.
1) Is mental training right for you and/ or your team?
2) What makes someone wake up and say to themselves “I think I’ll look for a sports psychologist / mental trainer today? (I ask this in part because in talking with sport psychologists in Canada and the UK, mental training is far more accepted than it is in the US and I have been working with athletes for three decades and am still answering these questions today. So maybe it is that I am missing something and would love to hear from you.)
The Big Why
Baseball great Yogi Berra is quoted as saying, “90% of all sport is mental and the other 50% physical. Why do we spend almost 100% of our time training only our bodies? This is the big question you need to ask yourself as an athlete. What are you doing to train your mind for athletic success? Are you dealing with competitive stress productively? Sport Psychology and Mental Game Training will help you reach the next level of peak performance. You need to explore and see if there are areas of your mental training that would benefit by learning the game within the game. Most programs are relatively short, but the results will last a lifetime.
