Tag Archive: Sport psychology program

Feb 16

Mental Training is not a luxury

Mental Training is not a luxury, it is a necessity!

When I wrote my last post on mental training being The Final Frontier my intention was to close with this statement. “Mental Training is not a luxury, it is a necessity!” Somehow it got lost in my enthusiasm. Or maybe it was in looking for a suitable picture from Star Trek. Either way I left it out.

I was honored this past week by being selected to be Expert in Residence at the Overlake School in Redmond WA. The mission of The Overlake School is to Inspire excellence, Develop intellectual curiosity, Teach responsibility, Embrace diversity and Foster a compassionate community. We live our mission every day and it informs every decision we make. It was a great experience for me to make presentations to the entire school and do training sessions for 22 classes. I got to meet the majority of the students. Overlake has over 80% participation in sports and is nationally known for it’s excellence in education.

My message was pretty clear to all of the students. ”Mental Training is not a luxury, it is a necessity!”. These students have tremendous advantages. They have supportive teachers, coaches and families. I took a poll in most of the classes I met with. What do you do to train mentally? How much time do you spend. The best answer I got was from a fencer. We work on strategy. He at least saw or felt like he was doing something positive. A few students took yoga and a few others said they practiced breathing to relax (incorrectly of course). But out of the 500 plus students I met with this week no one did any real mental training. No one said they had even read a book or an article on mental training. I did training sessions on mental toughness, motivation, resiliency, relaxation, imagery & visualization, concentration, stress & anxiety management, confidence and how their thoughts affect their emotions.

We either have to decide that sport is not 70-80% mental or that mental training is important to all athletes. The more I work with athletes and see how much greater their success is when they incorporate mental training into their regular regimen, the more I am convinced that ”Mental Training is not a luxury, it is a necessity!”.

I just updated The Mental Game website with a dozen stories about athletes I’ve worked with and what they focused on. You can see them here. I’ve been reticent about posting stories but was convinced by one of my former clients. These are a few examples I’ve picked that were instructive from the past 3 decades. One of the things that struck me as I was preparing this list were two of my current clients. Both very good athletes. Both were just recruited to the colleges they wanted to play for. Both stopped working on their mental game soon after receiving their acceptance letters. Both recently started up again because of slips in their performance.

When they called me to give them to get them a jump started again, as it were, they both acknowledged that they remembered that I had told them they needed to continue mental training as part of their routine. They didn’t stop conditioning, they each get private coaching in their sport in addition to team training, but that it regimented for them. I had set them up with a program, but it was one that they had to maintain. Lifting weights are visible reminders of what you need to do. A spread sheet reminding you to do some mental training I guess is not as sexy. In my next post I’ll talk about what I’m doing with a company to provide a phone app as a reminder to do mental training.

The thing I want you to see is that even with the success that these two athletes achieved (acceptance into an Ivy League School and a full ride to a university in the ACC), the need to think of mental training as a necessity instead of a luxury is critical. Mental training is not something you just read a book about and move on (unless it is The Athlete within You) Joking of course. It is something you put into practice for the rest of your athletic career.

If you understand this, believe it, then do something about it. You can read about sport psychology. There are lots of books out there besides mine, maybe not as good, but tons of great information. Find a book you like and figure out a program for yourself. Find a certified mental trainer/ sport psychology consultant and talk with them. I SKYPE with athletes all over the country and a few out of country My SKYPE name is Mike.Margolies. I do a 20 minute consultation for free to see if our working together works for both you and me. Then implement a program just as you implemented a strength and conditioning program. Follow your program and you will understand how it will help you find the real athlete within you.

Oct 30

Why mental training?

by Mike Margolies

Why mental training?

I was asked the other day and not for the first time why do mental training? I have been a proponent for three decades now that everyone should do mental training and working with someone like myself can help give every athlete a new set of tools or even one tool that will help them get to a new level of performance. I have worked with beginners to world champions and everyone finds something that is useful to them. But the question is still often asked so I thought I would address it here today.

The usual questions start with how does mental training or sport psychology help athlete’s perform at a higher level. Generally before I can answer that question the person will ask; will it help me deal with ___________________? There is a long list usually dealing with fear or anxiety. The answer is yes it will help and in so many other areas as well. Usually people will ask about a certain area.

In general I usually work with athletes on some form of the things I have listed below. If you are astute the thing you will notice is that I have listed a combination of training techniques and issues. I’ve done this because over the years I have found that people tend to think about sport psychology in both terms issues and techniques. An example is relaxation training. Athletes may want to learn how to deal with stress and the easiest way for them to talk about it is they want to learn to relax. Whatever way you want to think about is OK. What I want you to understand is that regardless of how you think about sport psychology and mental training it must be in your arsenal as a hockey player. It doesn’t matter how much talent you have, and I have worked with world champions, this is an area that you can improve and help yourself get to the next level. Read the rest of this entry »

Oct 08

Five Frogs Sitting on a Log

by Mike Margolies

Five Frogs Sitting on a Log

There is an old saw ab out five frogs sitting on a log. OK so this has been around a while, but I like to use it with the athletes and business people I work with. Riddle me this: Five frogs sitting on a log. Two decide to jump in the pond. How many frogs remain on the log?

Did you say three…. or more?

Most people answer three. Most people look at me like I’m stupid as well, but that is another story. The answer is we really don’t know. We don’t know because deciding to do something and doing something are two distinct and different entities. It doesn’t matter if you are an athlete or you are in business, action is the determining factor. Sitting on a log and thinking about or even deciding to jump in, only means you are sitting on a log. Only when we actually jump in are we going anywhere. So the answer could be three or zero, after all after one jumps in, all the others might just decide to follow.

I’ve used this for years with my athletes and it never fails to help them understand how important action is to their success.

Back when Star Wars was huge (like today as it never seems to go away), I would often quote Master Yoda, “Do or Do Not! There is no Try! Yoda is a great Sport Psychology Consultant helping athletes from many generations to perform at the highest levels.

While Master Yoda is very wise indeed, I have come to believe that these five frogs can be very good teachers as well, and they sort of remind me of something. Maybe it’s that they are all green.

And if you got the riddle wrong, at least you likely have good math skills.

Sep 28

Control Anger: Keep your cool

by Mike Margolies

Control Anger: Keep your cool

In sport we often need to control anger. It is a natural emotion experienced by almost all people, and as something that has functional value for survival. Anger can mobilize psychological resources for corrective action. Uncontrolled anger can, however, negatively affect personal or social well-being.

Athletes know when they not focused, not working hard or just plain not bringing it. An opponent likely is getting in their head, or your coach is yelling at you; it can cause frustration that can affect one’s performance causing angry outbursts.

If you are competitive and that winning seems to be everything when on the ice; as most athletes do, and that when the heat of the game is on they may let things go right away. Then in this precarious emotional state something happens in the game. Maybe there is a little extra contact. Maybe someone takes a cheap shot at one of your team mates. So what can you do? Push the player back? Fight? Yell at your coach? Yell at your teammates? Take yourself out of the game? Get thrown out of the game? Whichever one you decide to do, it is probably not the best way to handle the situation, and at the end of the day, is it really helping you? Or is it actually hurting you and your team? Most likely it will be the latter. However, the way you react can make or break the game you are in. A negative reaction can lead to a lack of coordination between you and the other players on your team throwing the entire team off-balance. A positive reaction, however, can inspire you and your team creating an unspoken commitment and drive from each player to put everything they have into the game, creating unity throughout the entire team. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that an aggressive act to protect your team mates or yourself in inappropriate. I could hardly work with hockey players if I believed that o be the case. I am suggesting however that whatever you do is based on cool calculation and not anger. Read the rest of this entry »

Sep 07

Quick vs. Long term Mental Training programs

by Mike Margolies

Are we in this for the long haul? Or are we looking for a quick fix? Mental Game Training takes time and commitment.

Quick vs. Long term Mental Training programs

Recently there has been some discussion on mental training programs among some of us that are practitioners of the dark arts. (You will need to read my book to get the inside joke, as I often refer to my transition from wanting to be a college coach to being persuaded by my mentors to come over to the dark side (Academia and sport psych).

Much of the discussion has been about quick fixes vs. long-term results. Too many people, not just athletes are looking for instant gratification and instant results. When I work with athletes I am helping them get long-term results, but quickly. No this is not an oxymoron. It is simply that in traditional psychotherapy progress takes place over the long haul. Sport Psychology and mental skills training are not traditional psychotherapy, so I believe we must look at our area a bit differently. Sport Psych is an educational process that uses psychological research, philosophy and technique to help athletes learn to perform at a higher level. It is a process and contrary to some beliefs, magic is not involved. Read the rest of this entry »

Aug 30

Old Man Story and the Choices we make

by Mike Margolies

The Old Man Story and the Choices we make

This is the Old Man Story. In writing a good deal to reach out to Junior A Hockey this year. I’ve noticed a number of negative articles related to poor choices players have made news with as of late. This is of course nothing new and since I’ve been helping athletes for three decades you might say I’ve seen quite a bit of it. I thought I would post a story I’ve been telling for perhaps 25+ years. Most every athlete I’ve either worked with on their mental game or coached on the soccer field has heard this. It’s in my book The Athlete within You, but I think it bares repeating here. So if you will indulge me, this is the story I’ve just called THE OLD MAN.

I want to tell you a story. It took place long time ago in a very small village. There was a young man who was a punk (not in the music way or I’ll get in trouble with my sons), if we can call him that; I suppose smart ass is how he would be referred to today. And he had a young friend and he started to talk. “There is an old man in the village who is never ever wrong. He’s a wise old guy and he’s never been wrong in his entire life and we are going to get one over on him.” And then the young man reached into a bush and pulled out a little bird. “I’m going to ask the old man if the bird in my hand is alive or dead. If the old man says the bird is dead, I will open my hand and the bird will fly away. I will be able to say that the old man was wrong. If on the other hand, the old man says that the bird is alive, I will crush the bird in my hand. I’ll open my hand and prove to him that he was wrong for the first time in his life. In this way I will show him he can be wrong and he’s not perfect.” So along comes the old man, and the young brash kids approach him. The boy says, “Hey old man, I have a question for you.” The old man looks at him with a sad smile on his face and he says, “Yes my son, what can I do for you.” The brash young man says “I have here in my hand a bird; you must tell me if it is alive or dead.” The brash young man has a big smile on his face because in his heart of hearts he knows he’s gotten one over on the old man. The old man looks again at him with sad smile on his face. “My son,” the old man says, “the answer lies in your hands.” It’s not just that the wise old man knows that choice is in this young man’s hands. The choice of course is in all of our hands. When we make a decision, when we take an action, in anything we do, we are at choice.

Young men that have the privilege to play sports at any level, though sheer talent or good fortune need understand that everyday choices they make will impact their future. All of us make mistakes in life. Understanding that we are the one’s responsible is an important step in the maturation process. Decide to drink, do drugs, party hard, be promiscuous what ever, the bottom line is it is your choice. I’m not going to stand up and lecture anyone on morality. I’ll leave that to your parents as we all see things differently, but I will be emphatic that every choice has a consequence. Sometimes the result is no result at all, but it is a result. Later this week I’ll dazzle you with Chaos Theory (think Jurassic Park), but for now understand what The Old Man has said. It’s in your hands!

Since you’ve gotten this far I’d like you to note that for today August 30, 2012 I have a promotion on Amazon where I am giving away free copies of The Athlete within You Kindle Addition. All you need to do is click on the following link and follow the instructions.

http://www.amazon.com/Athlete-Within-Approach-Business-ebook/dp/B008O5I654/ref=tmm_kin_title_0

post script

credit on the picture is Max Margolies, my father. He would have been 95 this Dec 25th. Picture was just before his passing prior to his 90th birthday. I won’t say he was the model for the story, nor will I admit to being the smart ass kid. But there are some similarities.

Aug 08

Author Interview- Mike Margolies and The Athlete within You

by Mike Margolies

Author interview Mike Margolies and The Athlete within You

You can purchase The Athlete within You- a mental approach to sports & business by clicking on the title.

Apr 18

How to Control Your Emotions by the Mindvalley Team

by Mike Margolies

How to Control Your Emotions by the Mindvalley Team

I have looked to add some guest posts to this blog. This post has been written by the Mindvalley Team. Mindvalley is one of the world’s fastest growing online publishing companies. Through a unique blend of conscious marketing, technology and a fun and quirky work culture, the Mindvalley team spreads enlightened ideas across the internet and beyond. This one is about how to control your emotions.

Please read and enjoy. This follows closely with many of the concepts I have posted on Emotional Intelligence.

Control Your Emotions

Controlling our emotions is essential to keeping ourselves calm and detached enough to make good decisions and do what we want or need to do. When we are constantly overrun by our emotional states, we lose our ability to think and act in an appropriate manner. Many people mistake their emotions for the reality of a situation, but emotions are really just intuitive cues that help us navigate our true needs and desires. A strong emotion indicates something we have either a strong desire for, or an aversion to. By reading these emotions we can better understand ourselves, but if we become our emotions, we miss out on a valuable opportunity to learn from our experiences.

Some emotions seem too powerful and overwhelming to control, but the fact is we are always in control. When an emotion arises or surprises us, we decide in that moment whether to run with it and talk to ourselves about it, or whether to bring into it and let it go. Emotions may arise in a reaction to something else, but they are fed with our thoughts. This means the moment we feel an emotion running away with us, we can stop, take a deep breath and stop our thoughts. When the mind stops, all that is left is the feeling, and it will run through us and then be gone.

We can also change our thoughts if we feel overwhelmed by an emotion or situation and can’t seem to let it go. A simple thought we can use is one of acceptance of ourselves, the others involved and the situation itself. This is simply done by saying something like, “I don’t like this, but I accept that it is this way, and I am ready to let go of my anger and fix it.” This is a statement that both let’s go of what is happening, and empowers us toward the solution. It is the perfect balance of accepting and owning what is happening.

We can also use simple breathing techniques to take us out of an emotion or out of thoughts that cause unhappy or unhealthy emotions. Counting the breath is one simple way to direct our attention toward something else. We can bring our focus to our breath and let the emotion do what it will. When we stay with our breathing, we no longer feed the anger, sadness, or fear that is overwhelming us. It can then pass through us as we feel it fully and let it go.

For times when we are incredibly upset, anxious, or physically, emotionally, and mentally worked up, we can use long, slow, deep breathing. Instead of counting the breath, we draw our attention to it and actively work to lengthen and deepen it. This means we close our eyes and slowly, deeply, consciously breath until we are calm again. Then we attempt to view or approach what is happening from a new angle. In this way we stay completely in control of our feelings and reactions.

The more we get ahold of how we are feeling and keep them from overrunning them, the easier this becomes. When our emotions are used to ruling the day and ruling us, they tend to take over in most situations. This is a problem, because emotions are not really meant to be the governing force of our lives, they are only meant to increase our experiences and to give us valuable clues in our decision making. Emotions are fickle, temporary, and often merely an initial reflex of our egos. While we can never discount emotion entirely, it is necessary to balance it with our reason, intuition, and higher minds.

Ego is a very reactionary, fearful, emotional part of our selves. Often, it uses emotions to take over and turn us inward and make us selfish or self-centered. If we let this happen, we will find ourselves constantly being worked into a state of unrest. This is our ego clinging to a self and holding onto to discontentment in order to keep us from being happy and getting what we want. It is a way we become limited, and give up our personal power. When we control our emotions, however, we make room for our truer, more powerful, positive selves to shine through.

Learn more stress relief techniques and easy techniques of relaxation

Apr 02

I call it bragging rights!

by Mike Margolies

Starting exercise: bragging rights.

As I have posted here before my sport psychology program is a mixture of cognitive behavioral therapy, imagery rehearsal, relaxation, hypnosis and other tools designed for self actualization.

When a client comes to my office, one of the first things they learn is that we start to focus on the positive things that happen in their lives. I borrowed the term “Bragging Rights” from a friend and psychotherapist by the name of Rick Wyckoff. I say borrowed, but of course I mean stole, as I didn’t ask his permission. But Rick is always generous, so I doubt that he will mind. I have of course been using the exercise for a couple of decades or more, but the name is remarkable to me.

We spend so much time telling people they shouldn’t brag. That bragging is somehow rude or socially unacceptable. I wish we spent as much time teaching people that being negative so much was also in this category. It is much easier for most people to talk about what a bad day they are having then to talk about how great their life is. And that is in fact where a lot of the issues start. Not only are we reluctant to say good things about our lies, but we focus on what is wrong.

If this were just in our interactions with the people we come in contact with, then that would be one thing. The problem is that it is what we say to ourselves that follows this same path and continually knocks us down. We are so willing to criticize ourselves and neglect what is good in our lives. I had a client last year that I noticed was rather negative in her language. I asked her about this. She of course said she is the most positive athlete I would meet. I asked her to do this little exercise. If you catch yourself saying something negative, then write it down. At the very least make tally marks. Five days later she walked somewhat sheepishly into my office. I said what’s up and she pulled out ten pages of notes on all of the negative things she said about herself. It is sometimes a tough enough world as it is without our being our own worst enemies.

Back to bragging rights. When an athlete visits with me the first thing I tell them it is time to do an exercise called bragging rights. They need to tell me only the good things that happened during the time between visits. For many this is difficult. Not only are they negative, but they were taught it’s not polite to brag. Eventually we get there and after a while they become used to it. We examine the good things that are going on in their lives, before we ever put the magnifying glass to any issues they are dealing with at the time. Not only is this a great icebreaker, but it is very helpful for the athlete to measure where they stand. Read the rest of this entry »

Mar 01

Is Mental Training Right for You and your Team?

by Mike Margolies

Ask Questions-

I was talking with a potential client’s mother today. She wanted to see if I was the right fit for helping her kid. We discussed all of my services, but it came down to some basic questions. One was that the concern he would think there was something wrong with because of the term “Psychology” and the other was how does sport psychology and mental training fit their needs. The second part was easy, and it has been the nature and intent of the posts I have been making. The first question gets more to the roots that 99% of Sports Psychology and Mental training is for healthy athletes that want to increase or accelerate their performance. Yes, we deal with things like fear, self confidence and anxiety, but it is with the intent to increase performance.

So as you read through the rest of this post, I would like you to answer two questions for yourself and me. Please feel free to leave comments so we can have a conversation.

1) Is mental training right for you and/ or your team?

2) What makes someone wake up and say to themselves “I think I’ll look for a sports psychologist / mental trainer today? (I ask this in part because in talking with sport psychologists in Canada and the UK, mental training is far more accepted than it is in the US and I have been working with athletes for three decades and am still answering these questions today. So maybe it is that I am missing something and would love to hear from you.)

The Big Why

Baseball great Yogi Berra is quoted as saying, “90% of all sport is mental and the other 50% physical. Why do we spend almost 100% of our time training only our bodies? This is the big question you need to ask yourself as an athlete. What are you doing to train your mind for athletic success? Are you dealing with competitive stress productively? Sport Psychology and Mental Game Training will help you reach the next level of peak performance. You need to explore and see if there are areas of your mental training that would benefit by learning the game within the game. Most programs are relatively short, but the results will last a lifetime. Read the rest of this entry »